MLIA

First off:  http://mylifeisaverage.com/story.php?id=521561

I have to admit, I've done this before. AND, if you get a small enough eraser or small object, you can hold it between thumb/pinky on your palm and proceed to "poop" your dinosaur. MLIA

So i've been reading these MLIA for a good 40 minutes at least. I've only found 1 average story. I figured out today, also, my life is an average story. I do some out of the ordinary things, but in the end I'd say I'm pretty average. But that only depends on the person observing my life. To me, I am average. To others, I think I'm pretty daring and, simply, not average. I had a pretty not-so-average start to my weekend. The middle (saturday night, possibly sunday morning) is pretty shitty. Doing absolutely NOTHING. Kinda pissed at myself for having nothing to do. And kind of lost on what I'm feeling on another matter. Kind of know what I'm feeling on the third. It's all good.

I have realized how to make my life. Not average. First, embrace everything! Don't shy away from events that would otherwise leave one embarassed. Instead. ACT. Next, I will do more pranks. Honestly, what's better than making random people laugh? Finally, I will now drive with my windows down more and I will sing loudly to the song on the radio. Why? Hopes of driving by people who know the song and will sing with me. Of course, after all of these, I will request the highest of fives.

My new life goal: make it as un-average as possible. Any scene will be my scene. Any day will be my day. My life. Is not average.

How about yours? Readers, I implore you to join forces with me. Make your lives not average! Be loud! Be shameless! Never walk idly by as someone yells "This is madness!" Never stop and stare as someone runs by in a banana suit. Yell to him, "Faster! The gorilla is onto you!" Readers, this will be my life! Make it yours! My life is not average. No. My life is awesome. MLIA

You can happen

It's been a long time. I know. More than what, two months now? Well. I'm back. I'm still alive. I still write. Breath. Think. And today I have more to say. No recollection of all that has happened in the past two months. In fact, the past month have been the most eventful.

Honestly. I have really nothing interesting to say. Nothing has really happened to me. Just life. That's what it does. It's a four letter word. And it happens. Just like another four letter word I won't say. But it does happen People also happen. They happen to find their way into other lives. And it just creates a whole network. These are friends. They are lovers. They matter. And you. You are a friend. You may even well be a lover. If not currently, then in the future. It will happen.

Honestly. I had a lot to say. But now that I'm here. I find that I have not a lot to share. Yeah, I'm just as surprised as you are. But it's just how it is. I wish I had more to say. Anything really.

Maybe this. Have you ever made a wish. Not a silly wish like "another wish" or "a huge mound of money". Well, to me that's silly. Maybe my wishes are silly. I don't really believe in that "if you tell someone your wish, it won't come true" shtick. It hasn't been working out for me so far. But. I still won't tell it. Why? Well, what if I just need to keep waiting for it to come true? Not everything happens the next day. There is no set time for anything. There are always surpirses. They keep us in check. Sometimes we enjoy them. Sometimes they're not pleasant. Whatever they are. surprises will always be there. And I like them. Even the bad ones. And yes, I've had my share of...unpleasant surprises. But I keep going on. Why? Because there are always going to be better times. The things and people that matter the most are not easy to obtain. The journey makes the destination all the more enjoyable. And, it just so happens that when one reaches their destination, a new journey will take its place. If you think about it. There really is no end. Events in life lap over each other. It's amazing. Everything leads to something. Nothing ever ends.

But its time for me to end this. Only until my next one, of course. Always look towards the future for a new journy. The one you're on may not be quite so enjoyable, but the destination will come. And soon, another journey. Keep on this cycle. It is life. It happens.

REDO Button

What's up everyone? Time to fill in another day. What did I do today? Well, went to Ba Le to get some viet sandwiches for lunch. Then random nothingess at my house. Walked around, went on computer, watched tv, listened to loud music. I found out that I know all the words to "Just a Friend" by Mario. Also, I really like "Anna Molly" by Incubus. Two nice songs. Well, I was basically shouting/singing the lyrics while I was home alone today.

Then I had my outting. Went to Santa Anita to watch movies with my friend. Don't think it should be called a date. I really don't know what it was. Totally not what I had in my mind, though. But nonetheless, I didn't mind. I just hope we get another opportunity to do it right next time. Don't know when that will be. But oh well. Whattaya gonna do, am I right? What's done is done. What's in the past is passed.

So after that...part of my day. Went around Montebello buying stuff for SodaPong. Like beer pong...but with soda. Sure, call me weak or a pussy or whatever, but the game is fun. Came home, computer. Did more nothing. Cleaned up pong-table. Worked out for a bit then I started getting bitten by mosquitoes so I ended early and just showered. Ate dinner, talked with parents at table. Tried to figure out what Fu King fried rice was by asking them. It led to a pretty amusing conversation. I suggest you all go ask your parents what it is. It's pretty fun. Anyways. Started playing pong at 10:30. It was fun. I still have a crapload of soda left. About 7 litres left. Alot...I'll just hold onto it till next potluck or something. Didn't play a lot of games since the gang wasn't all here, but still have fun. Then just sat and talked till everyone left, which was oddly by pairs. Now I sit here, late at night. Talking to no one and everyone.

Isn't it hard to vent when the person you're venting to signs off on you? Probably got disconnected but it still frustrated me a bit. Oh well. I'll just. Hold it in. Like a little kid who has to pee but there's no bathroom around. And now I'm getting a little sleepy. I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to be up. To think. To. For lack of a better word, fantasize. To think about how this day would have been if it had gone according to the plan in my mind. Alot more laughs. More smiles. More good feelings. But we can't all have what we want, now can we? It just doesn't work like that. I don't mind. If I don't get it now. I'll get it some other time. Now I just kinda feel. Left. Like I've been left alone to fend for myself. Left with questions that won't be answered. Left in the dark, I guess you can say? But it's alright. I'll shed light on the situation when it's appropriate.

I feel like singing again. When I'm alone of course, so I can sing at max volume. It's best that way. At least, I think so. I like it. Beatboxing too. That's always fun. I've always wanted to go the the beach and beatbox by the bonfire. While my friend plays a guitar and sings or something. Always thought that would be a fun way to end a beach trip. Maybe I'll get to do that this summer. If not, then I just have another year to practice whatever beatboxing skills I have.

Alright. I guess I'm done. pretty short post. I need to go find that REDO button. Goodluck!

Can't think of one

Can't think of a title. Not really sure what to call this one. Hm. Well, today I finally figured out who I am. Call me Jack. Jack of all trades, master of none. What does it mean? I can do alot, but I won't excel. I'm an elementary school teacher, not a professor. I'm...not a master? Sounds funny. But I think the old saying applies to me. How do I know? Well, just trust. I am Jack.

This morning, had Sociology presentations. I heard people go up and say "I'm...(name)" and I thought, "Is that who they are?" Hm. I wondered. I thought about it and said to myself, "I'm not Jonathan. My name is Jonathan. I am. Me." I know, sound familiar? Well it should. It's funny how i reiterate this "Me" stuff because I don't know who I am. Who am I, really? I'm a student, that's one. I'm a friend. I'm an assistant coach. I'm a driver. I'm an eater. I'm a poet. I'm a writer. A blogger. A connoisseur of fine words. Okay, maybe not fine words, seeing as my vocabulary is somewhat limited. But I do like my words.

My friends enlightened me a few days ago. This boy that I know, don't think young, my age, does not like me, and never has. Hah. Go figure. Figure what? Well, he's living a lie. Smiling to my face. You know what I felt when I got the news? I told them "Hah, fuck him." What was I thinking? "I'd like to punch the fucker in the face." Why? Well, I shouldn't care if someone likes me or not, because I'm sure there's plenty of people who don't, but this was just personal. Don't fret it. But it's been bugging me, now, for a couple days. I run scenarios in my head and it ends with me telling his ass off. But. I don't know. Why even care, right? It's just. It's just personal. I guess that's why. It involves a third party.

You know what? I've lost my usual venting outlets. What's that you say? Well, the people I can tell this kinda shit to, instead of putting this in what, a nearly decade old website? Well. I don't know. 1 is 3000 miles away and busy with life. Another is home. But busy with life. Who am I to bother the lives of others? I'll stick with. This. If you read and would genuinely like to talk. That'd be grand, friend.

Have you ever felt. Lost? Just completely and utterly lost? Don't know what to do. Who to go to. What's the matter with everything? Not even what I just said, but your own definition of being lost. I'm kind of. On a raft. Ya know? I've been drifting for so long. Letting the waves of Life take me anywhere. I've been like this for so long. Probably my whole life. I let life happen to me. I don't, like the ever popular Dodge slogan, grab life by the horns. I let life ram me up the asshole. But it's been fine so far. I guess that's cause I had so much...structure in life up until now. Now, I can do what I want. And now, I find I don't know what I want. Sure, I know what I want to eat, what I want to wear, or where I want to go tomorrow. But what about in a year? 2 years? 5? 10? Well, I sure as hell don't know.

I'm sure you don't get this feeling when you read all my blogs, but....some of them are really painful. It hurts to feel it. It hurts to write it. It becomes concrete. It becomes real. I can't manipulate it. Sure I can just hit backspace and rewrite everything, but the words have already been written and read. You don't read it, but I do. And I know. I feel the pain you don't read about. I should be...John Coffey? Was that his name? The big guy in "The Green Mile". What a great movie. I just sap your pain. Haha. Funny.

Maybe that's what I should do with life. Devote my life to making others feel good. Well, maybe not a wise career choice, but I'll still do it as a hobby, how's that? I, from this point on, devote my life to the needs of others. I will be. A friend. That is what friends do, is it not?

Well I'm ending my day, here. I should wrap this up and sleep. So how to end this...depressing entry. But aren't all, if not most of them depressing? Hah. In a way, this xanga is my Pensieve. Not a Harry Potter fan? Well, a Pensieve is a magical item in which wizards and witches could deposit their thoughts, in order to clear up their mind. This is my Pensieve. As soon as the words extend through my fingertips and onto the screen, I feel a little...lighter. Sure I feel a bit of pain. Little dash of suffering as I'm forced to relive these moments. But afterwards, It is forgotten. I lay in bed. Lights off. Darkness around me. I can hear myself. I think of new thoughts. Usually I remember stuff I had just written, but still. Ever reflect upon your day while in bed? It's a quiet time. You can see your day in a whole new light. No hustle, no bustle. Just stillness. You see your actions during the day. You see your thoughts. They fill the darkness around you and illuminate you with new perceptions of what you did and thought. Your day has just changed completely, in your eyes. You think about it. You say, "Wow." Then you can sleep. Maybe. That's...close to what happens to me. I see my day. I see what happened. What I should or shouldn't have done. Sure, it's too late to do anything about it, seeing as it is night and not day.

Drift on, reader. You don't need to grab life by the horns. You just need to live. Make sure you do what you want to do. Not what someone else wants you to do. Me? I want to write. And that's what I do. What am I gonna do after I write? Well, drift of course. And then? Well, I'll write about where life took me. And you? Well, I hope you'll read. Goodnight and good sleep.

A month and 9 Days

It's been a while since I've been here. Yes, I am still alive. I always think about updating, but when it comes to it, I get sleepy. But tonight, I'll sacrifice a bit of sleep to update you, my reader, on what is happening in my life.

I'll start with recent events, yes? Recently got into an argument with myself. In my head. During a tennis game. Yup, I sucked hard. Don't worry, my racket is safe and sound. I didn't beat it up and throw it around like I normally do. I did, however, one up myself. I placed my racket down. Walked over to a sign that said "Courts closed after 11PM" or...something along those lines. And proceeded to punch it. 3 times. In rapid succession. Yes. I know. Calm down, right? Well I tried. I did the deep breaths. Believe me, I held it in for 2 games. That's longer then the "10 second Count" that supposedly helps. Punching the sign really helped. Sure, it may be a little bloody. You can look at my picture. Facebook has others. But yeah, it helped. A few more points after that, I was calmer. I felt...at ease. Besides for the throbbing that was occuring intermittently in my hand. I had a laugh about it. There were four people on the next court over, two couples. I can tell they were....for lack of the word, "wtf". The guys were probably thinking "What the hell is wrong with this kid" and "What the fuck man, chill." The women were probably thinking "Wow he takes it so seriously." or "Is he okay? What's wrong with him". I apologized to them. Kinda. Just muttered "Sorry about that" towards their court and went back to my game. And that was my Sunday. My hand is fine now. Kinda. It's sore. Knuckles are swollen. Pretty noticeable. Hurts to type fast. Gotta slow it down. Don't have alot of movement in my fingers, at least not without some pangs of pain and soreness. Today was, fine. Went to mall with friends...again. Walked around. Bought nothing. Went to eat with friends. Went home. Played games. Watched TV. Go on computer. Eat. That's basically it. Saturday was nearly the same. Actually...it was the same. Went to the mall with friends. Ate out. Hung out. Played games. Slept late. All in all, it was a fun day. Wish we went out more though instead of staying in playing games.

Let's see. How about school? Well, I'm nearing the end of my first year at PCC. Finals in the upcoming weeks. I'm not worried. Why should I be? It's a test. People just gave it a different name to put some weight on it. But is there any weight? No. It's a test. I can relax. For now. Classes are fine. No friends again this semester. Save for a couple people in my English class who are...pretty fun to chat with before class starts. But friends? No. Just class acquaintances. Other than that, pretty normal schooling for me.

Social life? None. School. Home. Tennis practice. Friends during weekends. It's fun and all, but nothings really new. I think I need something new. Or someone new. I've figured out I'm lacking a certain type of friend. Oh well. I'll make new ones whenver new ones come into my life. Life is but a waiting game, right? We wait to play. We play when we wait.

I feel like...Music. Music is in me. I sing. I whistle. I dance (hah). I beatbox (learning). Sometimes a good song is all we need, right When you need to get pumped up, don't you think it helps if you get a nice song with heavy beats to get you there? How about something more sad and melancholy? Isn't there a song that'll cheer you up? Even a song that makes you cry helps. Don't you agree? I have songs like these. And you do too. You may not want to admit it, but you have 'em.

Well, for those of you who noticed, last Thursday was my birthday. I did. Nothing. Went to SantaAnita Mall during my break between classes with my sister. I bought shorts. Guess that was my birthday gift to myself. At home, I did homework. Played games. Had dinner with family at home. Ate cake at home. Did I celebrate over the weekend? No, I didn't. But why celebrate a random day, really? So it's my birthday. I got "older" but what is getting "older"? It's not tangible. We can't reach out in grab it. Touch it. No, I think I've gotten nothing. I have become plenty of things. I've become..smarter. Possibly. I've become stronger. I've become to appreciate more things in life. I've come to appreciate life. Soon, I'll find another year has passed. And you will too. Soon, it'll be your birthday. Then you'll think back to this post. Maybe. Then you'll realize that I was right and another year has passed pretty quickly. I don't remember alot about this last year. I remember. Pain. I remember sadness. I remember being happy. I remember smiling. I remember crying. I remember confusion. I remember dreams. I remember people. I remember you. Don't think I've forgotten. I talk to you everytime you listen. I talk to you everytime you read. I talk to you everytime you think about me.

I really missed this. This...ranting. The ramblings of an older person. Of...me. I will keep being me. I'll try to do things I want to do. I'll try to go to the places I want to go. I'll become who, in my mind, I want to be. And I want to be me. I am me. There are people who think to themselves that they are different for the sake of being different. They want to be different because everyone else is doing the same thing. So they want to be different. However, they don't realize that by wanting to be different, they're being the same as everyone who wants to be different. I am different. How? I've realized that I'm the same by wanting to be different. Am I different? Maybe. But I'm me. And that makes me different.

I hope you'll take this lightly and not think "Who the hell is he to tell me I'm not different. That I'm like everyone else." No, I'm just saying that we try to be different but by trying to be different, we're not being ourselves. Do you realize that? If you don't do what you want to do, you're not being you. Do what you desire, and you will be you. You will do what you want to do in your own way and THAT will make you different. I do what I want to do in my own way. Influences come and go, But I will always have the final say in what I do or don't do.

Live long and prosper, reader. Be well and be yourself. I hope you realize that, by reading this, you have become different. You have opened your eyes. I won't say I opened them for you. I didn't. I didn't tell you to come to this website and then to read this. No. You chose to click my page and you chose to scroll down. And I thank you for reading, for without someone like you, my words will not exist.